... was a brilliant primary school game. You'd sit at our desk, forehead
resting on your crossed arms, thumbs defiantly standing tall. Nervously
you'd listen for the footsteps approaching, and when they got near
enough you'd strain a peek at the shoes (if you could) as the cold,
clammy fingers pressed down on yours. Always a dead giveaway, if you
could see the shoes. (And by the way, it's wasn't cheating. The game
name started "Heads down", not "Eyes closed", so you could get off on a
technicality. Aye, we were all lawyers in those days.)
Once
all those who were "it" had chosen their victims and returned to the
front of the room, the "Heads up" call announced that it was time for
the flattened thumb owners to guess their perpetrators. Who did it? Who
tiptoed up? Who put your thumbs down?
Sometimes I wonder if I'm still playing the game today. And I see other people playing it too. We're all merrily going about our lives, thumbs metaphorically up in that widely recognised symbol of positivity, when all of a sudden, someone squashes our happiness. It could be a direct hit, or it might just be a gentle nudge, but whatever it is, we come out of the experience with our outlook tarnished, standing a little less tall, bearing a slightly smaller smile.
Who did it to you today, dear reader? Who skulked close enough to get to you and change you for the worse? Did you get a good look at their shoes? It's quite probably not who we think it is. Very often we're quick to call out the unfortunate straw that broke the camel's back, when the real culprit was the person who wore us down earlier in the day, for example. Or the colleague who failed to support us in an important situation. Or the permanently needy friend who drained our energies by bringing the mood down and offering nothing in return for the fifth time in a row.
Look for the shoes. Really look for those shoes.* Then you have two choices: kill the behaviour outright (if the person's worthy of your trust they'll listen; if they're really worthy they'll act on it), or else get that person far enough away that they can't put your thumbs down again.
It really is that simple, folks. I've heard it said that you're the average of the five people you spend the most time with. Make them people who rejoice in seeing your thumbs up, and you'll find it very hard for those proud, upstanding digits to be any other way. And how great would the world be then, eh?
* It's not cheating, remember.
