Ouch.
It felt wrong the first time I read it. But I wondered if it was just me - after all, it's only a Facebook status update, I told myself, intended more as an attempt at mild humour than a direct insult. I mean really, Facebook statuses really serve only one of two purposes:
a) sharing news with a lot of people very quickly and easily, or
b) showing off.
And I state this whilst quite openly acknowledging that I'm as guilty of the latter as anyone (I write a blog, for goodness' sake).
But anyway, back to the update in question: it was short-sighted, selfish, and not just a little callous. Would it cause any direct offence? Highly unlikely. Would anyone else be similarly discomfited by it? Probably not - most would shrug it off, letting it go with only that passing sense of pity that comes from seeing a friend shoot for funny and land nearer tried-too-hard. Was it any of my business? Absolutely.
It's not fashionable to interfere, I know. Live and let live. Everyone's entitled to his opinion. But what if our friends are misguided? Or inappropriate? Or, in this case, just a little bit thoughtless? I made the mistake of reading some trashy articles on Facebook a few weeks ago, and a few good friends (including my well-meaning husband) asked me, in various forms of politeness,what the heck I was doing. Quite right too - I'm glad you all did (I have a response to your collective query, incidentally, but that's for another post).
In response to my own question (to all new readers: just go with it - most of these posts are short snippets of ongoing conversations currently circling in my head, which are made far more interesting when I adopt a question-and-answer approach), I'm going to go so far as to say I believe we have a duty to each other, as well as to ourselves, to call out questionable behaviour. It's uncomfortable, and it's risky, but if we do it with genuinely good intentions as opposed to a pious sense of self-righteousness then our words should be at best, gratefully received, and at worst, politely dismissed - but in either case the relationship should survive intact (and if it can't, I'd question its value in the first place).
So I'm going to be unfashionable, and let the friend know what I think. I'm going to pick at the splinter and make things a little bit awkward for a moment, in the faith that my words will be accepted in the spirit in which they're given. Hey, I might be completely ignored, but at least my conscience and I will be on speaking terms.
What behaviour are you turning a blind eye to? Which of your friends inspire you to sometimes jump in and change the conversation, with whom a quiet word might be in order? Whose words make you say, "Ouch," when you read them? But take heed, dear reader: if we're going to set out on this crusade it won't (and shouldn't) be long before someone else points out our own blocks of wood. And when they do, we owe it to them to do three of nature's most wonderful things: breathe, smile, and listen.
Wish me luck...
